For anyone interested in the history of punk, hardcore, and thrash metal, Harley Flanagan’s tale of his own life offers a look into the various music scenes the author has been involved with throughout his life.
Like having a conversation with an old friend, there is a raw connection found in Flanagan’s writing. Reading Flanagan is like talking to your friend about the events that happened last night. Even if what happened occurred over a decade ago. In a wise move, Flanagan starts off by addressing any law enforcement reading, “everything in this book is entirely made up.” A legal disclaimer for those still seeking some kind of retribution. Flanagan’s history of violent episodes are evident as he recounts the many street brawls throughout his career in this book in vivid detail.
“I don’t remember if I kicked him first, but I remember my friend Errol blasted him in the face with a 40-ounce bottle, and then Squint ran up and blasted him with a brick in the chest. It was overkill. This guy was getting fucked up, and he wound up in a coma for a while. Everyone at the matinee was all freaked out and upset. I just looked around at them all as they gathered around us. I was like, ‘What? They started that shit!”
This would have been well documented if this occurred on the streets today. No thanks to witnesses with cell phones, all with cameras, not to mention the city-wide surveillance panopticon, license plate readers, and cars with cameras. Not so in the 1980’s.
There are so many fights described in this book. It is like UFC unfolding on the streets. Plenty of gory details. Though as the reader, I question, how in the midst of whiteout rage, how can one recall the use of a square-shaped Jack Daniels bottle used to lacerate the face of a combatant? Or how many teeth you knocked out when head-butting some shit-talking fool in a park in broad daylight? “Yeah, I fucked him up good; turns out I knocked out eight of his front teeth, his top four fronts and then his bottom four with the head-butt.” Flanagan has a clear memory for violent acts.
The most entertaining fights I read about were some of the dumber disagreements resulting from life on tour. Flanagan’s dispute with the band Earth Crisis is hilarious. Flanagan describes Earth Crisis as “one of those vegan-hardcore bands.” I was not familiar with Earth Crisis until reading about Flanagan’s disputes with the band. So I checked them out. Very much a hardcore vegan straitedge band. I have been going to hardcore shows in Sacramento since I was a kid so I know straitedge. However, vegan is one thing but to add straitedge? When this band started in the early 1990’s, I doubt anyone even knew what veganism was. That being so, I had to dig more into Earth Crisis. If you listen to the EP Firestorm, that spells out what this band is all about. Enough said.
Anyways, Flanagan describes defending Earth Crisis’s drummer from getting beat up at a show while on tour with the band and how he subsequently destroyed their tour van after Cro-Mags guitarist Parris was jumped by Earth Crisis band members. Instead of standing up and fighting, Flanagan writes that the entire band (Earth Crisis) fled in their van and got stuck in a dead-end road. Flanagan describes the Earth Crisis sitting in the vehicle while he carried out a full out assault on the band’s van. Smashing all the windows as the band sat inside, Flanagan notes “I was killing this van.” Flanagan describes beating up the van while Earth Crisis was trying to escape by driving away. Imagine one man against a bunch of vegan straitedtge dudes in a van, all freaked out, scared, and running for their lives from one mad man destroying their van with his bare hands.
Now, I know I have not updated this blog in some time. Well that is because I have been busy reading this book. Just kidding. To critique Flanagan’s writing, I would describe it is stream-of-conscious as he recounts events of the past. With each paragraph, Flanagan quickly moves on from fights, gigs, drugs, girlfriends, bands, travel, religion, and squats. Flanagan goes in depth to share the details of being a skinhead, fights with skinheads, Nazis, and various thugs. Hard-Core: Life of my Own is long but a fast read. At some point Flanagan describes the book as “the longest suicide note ever written.” If I can offer additional criticism of this book, I will point to the restraint that Flanagan shows by not divulging the events the author admits he should not share. There are things that Flanagan writes that he had to leave out due to being a father, “cause I have kids now, and I don’t want them to know exactly how insane things got.” While acknowledging the restraint out of either fear of incarceration (Flanagan’s aforementioned legal disclaimer), or simply withholding out of the request form girlfriends, wives, or to maintain respectability from offspring is wise. The restraint also acknowledges that some stories and many secrets are taken to the grave. Maybe some things are better left unsaid?
More interesting is the details of the punk rock and hardcore scenes of the early 1980’s shared in this book. There is a varied collection of different bands that Flanagan mentions throughout. Punk, hardcore, metal bands in the scene. Influences, touring partners, and others. Flanagan writes about starting his career in music as the drummer in his Aunt Denise’s band The Stimulators to learning how to play bass from Darryl of the Bad Brains. Here, Flanagan gives us a definition of punk and hardcore:
“As far as I was concerned, when Sid Vicious died, that was the death of punk rock—that era was done. Hardcore was the next phase: the rebirth of it.”
Sid Vicious died in 1979. Flanagan writes that the Bad Brains had left DC and moved to the LES, NYC in 1980. Flanagan attributes the Bad Brain’s musical influence on hardcore punk, “whose sound would forever change everything.” This coming from the founding-member of the Cro-Mags, is a clear definition of the beginning of hardcore music.
Venues from CBGB’s to A7, I found myself researching various locations described in the book. With four floors, the club Danceteria sounds like it was a fun place for shows. Flanagan recalls, “I was lucky to be part of the generation that saw the Ramones, Dead Boys, Blondie, Dolls, Suicide, etc.” Flanagan mentions that he was on the scene before hardcore was even a thought and goes on to share how hardcore started then quickly de-evolved into what it would become in the 1980s. Characteristic of the stream-of-conscious style of writing, Flanagan frequently mentions numerous bands throughout his chronicling of early punk and hardcore. I started digging in on some of the bands that Flanagan mentions that I have never heard of.
Here is a small sample of some bands I felt the need to research while reading this book:
This is funny because I think the band makes a comment that they don’t play this song anymore and to please take it down due to it being not politically correct.
Reading Flanagan’s book after seeing the Cro-Mags open for Helmet in April, 2024 filled in the gaps of what I was missing at the time. I was unaware of the history behind the band, the influence the Cro-Mags have had on punk, hardcore, and thrash metal. Details about how some of the former band members either quit the band or no longer associate with Harley out of animosity. Forget that former band member John Joseph performs his own version of the Fake-Mags without Cro-Mag founders Harley or Parris. Just goes to show the level of drama within the band.
When I saw the Cro-Mags in April, 2024, Harley came on stage, shirtless, in great shape, and asked, “How many of you have heard of or seen the Cro-Mags before?” At the time I thought it was an simple question anyone would ask about his band. After reading the book, I think Harley was trying to figure out who was at the show to start shit or bring up old drama. By the end of the night, there were no fights, Cro-Mags did songs from The Age or Quarrel and Best Wishes. Helmet played next. I will share a video of Helmet performing below.
In the end, not only did I find Hard Core: Life of my Own entertaining and insightful, but also inspiring. I found Flanagan’s own quest to improve his life by working out and maintaining physical fitness encouraging. Flanagan writes about a time he moved back to NYC, getting off drugs while living with a girlfriend, working out because he couldn’t sleep. About this time, Flanagan writes, “I’d go for these long runs at night..” where he would encounter the old homies hanging out, drinking, drugging in the streets, “all these people really not doing anything but standing around getting fucked up […]. It gave me motivation to keep my shit together.” It is inspiring that despite all the trials in life that attempt to derail, sideline, and frustrate you, being in the gym, working out, running, keeps you sane. For myself, physical fitness is priority. Diet, sleep, train, hydrate. As I am writing this now, I am getting ready for the gym even though I don’t really feel like working out today. I might feel tired but I go anyways. Mind and body aches but I am going to feel better about today, tonight, and tomorrow after working out. In the gym I push my body to it’s limits. While doing so I listen to hardcore, metal, hip hop, dark wave, new wave, electronic, punk, and indie rock. The soundtrack to the exhaustion, pain, and the pump afterwards fueling the rewards.